Book 18 - Blows and a Queen's Beauty

As I sat by the windowsill, my begging time finished, the usual beggar came and threatened to kill me if I didn't leave. I tried to make peace with him, but I ended up taking his threat and we started a fight. The suitors, finding us fighting beggars very amusing, decided to give food and honor to the winner, and death to the looser, and they came around us to watch. I punched the man's jaw and broke it, then I dragged him out of the palace and told him not to come back. The suitors, amazed, gave me food and wine, and I realised one of them was nice, so I told him a summary of the death to come, as if I was prophesizing. Then Penelope spoke up and decided to go to her chamber and fall asleep, and while she slept, Athena made her more beautiful by putting ambrosia on her face. She awoke and went downstairs and talked to Telemakhos about how the beggar should've been treated better as a guest, and why the suitors are acting so un-homely. Telemakhos responded that he wished that the suitors would be punched like that. Then the suitors talked to her, telling her how beautiful she was, but she just responded that she missed Odysseus, and this speech warmed up my heart. And at this speech, all the suitors sent for gifts for Penelope and then gave themselves up to dancing and singing merrily. I went up to the maids and told them to take Penelope to her chamber and look after her, and I would wait among the suitors until they left, then I'd go see her; but the maid that was sleeping with Eurymakhos came forward and told me I was drunk, to which I replied that she was an ignorant slut and if Telemakhos heard what they had said, he would cut their arms and legs off. And them knowing this was true ran off crying to their chambers. I then watched the suitors as they taunted me and I replied cleverly, and then more taunting and some death threats. They threw stuff at me, and Telemakhos told them they were drunk and to go home, and momentarily struck by his manner, they decided to finish their wine, offer libations to the gods, and went home.

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